by Kelley Gardiner
Ever been curious about surrogacy options available for families in Portland? Naturally, anyone considering using a surrogate to add to their family will have questions. LOTS of questions. We took a look at the basics and the need-to-knows about this unique way of adding a new member to a family.
WHAT IS SURROGACY?
When a person or a couple wants a biological child of their own, but isn’t able or wishing to carry a pregnancy to term, surrogacy is one of the options to create the family they’re looking for. A surrogate mother carries and delivers the baby. The intended parents, who are often present at the birth, then get to meet and take their baby home.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Using an experienced agency for surrogacy means leaving much of the legal and emotional work to professionals: They screen potential surrogate mothers, match parental needs with the needs of the surrogate, help prepare contracts, coordinate medical care, and in general, support all parties and keep this complex process as smooth as possible.
WHY SURROGACY?
Northwest Surrogacy Center says their clients choose surrogacy “because it is fast, has an extremely high success rate, and gives intended parents a high degree of choice and control.” Depending on the intended parents, the baby can be biologically related, and parents can get to know the surrogate to the degree that’s comfortable for both sides.
“I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on a gorgeous October afternoon via C-section,” says Carey Flamer-Powell, Director and Founder of All Families Surrogacy. “One of his mothers held my hand in the operating room as he was born…Besides the birth of my own daughter, being part of his birth was the most incredible moment of my life.” Flamer-Powell was moved to create All Families Surrogacy to provide that experience for other families.
WHAT DOES IT COST?
It’s not inexpensive but most couples wanting to build a family via surrogacy find a way to make it happen! Charges will depend on the agency you choose, if donor eggs or sperm are needed, any additional rounds of in vitro fertilization, other medical procedures, testing, and other variables. Intended parents may need to travel several times to meet the agency, meet the surrogate, and, of course, to meet their sweet new baby. Many agencies list basic structures on their websites, so you can get a general idea of what’s in store.
CAN I USE AN AGENCY IF I’M GAY OR SINGLE?
Straight, gay, single, you’ll be able to find an agency that will support you. All Families Surrogacy, based in Beaverton, works primarily with gay and lesbian intended parents, but welcomes families and single people of all orientations.
CAN I USE A SURROGATE IF I’M ABLE TO CARRY A PREGNANCY MYSELF, BUT I DON’T WANT TO?
Some agencies only accept clients who are medically unable to carry a pregnancy to term, or whose parents wish to avoid passing down certain genetic traits.
WHAT IF THE SURROGATE DECIDES TO KEEP THE BABY?
It makes a compelling television plot, but it’s rare. In more than 20 years, Northwest Surrogacy Center has been providing these services, they “have never had a surrogate want to keep an intended parent’s baby.” Northwest Surrogacy Center only provides gestational surrogacy services, so the surrogate is not biologically related to the baby. Rest assured that surrogates are screened carefully, and contracts are in place before a pregnancy occurs.
DOES THE SURROGATE KEEP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BABY?
That’s up to the intended parent and the surrogate. Some families keep a close relationship, especially if the surrogate mother lives closeby. Other families might send pictures and updates. Others might prefer to keep their lives a little more private. Ask any potential agencies about their recommendations and policies just to make sure you’re on the same page before making the plunge.
HOW CAN I BECOME A SURROGATE?
Interested in carrying a child for someone else? It’s a huge commitment, and one that would come with medical risk, not to mention a heavy emotional load. Most surrogates do it not only for the compensation (a base fee plus compensation for additional procedures, childcare, time off work, etc.), but also because they enjoyed being pregnant or want to give back by carrying a baby for someone else. There are a number of criteria for interested women, so check with an agency if interested, but if you’re healthy and you’ve enjoyed being pregnant, you may qualify for further followup and more intensive screening. Note that compensating a surrogate is illegal in Washington.
WHAT’S THE NEXT STEP IF I’M INTERESTED?
Read up on information from groups like Men Having Babies, and start thinking about the kinds of questions you’ll ask any prospective agencies. Good luck!
GLOSSARY
Intended Parent(s): The person or couple hoping for a new baby.
Surrogate: The woman who carries the pregnancy.
Traditional surrogacy: The surrogate’s eggs are fertilized with donor sperm
or sperm of intended parent. The surrogate is biologically related to the baby. This method is illegal in some states, and is not supported by all surrogacy agencies.
Gestational surrogacy: A fertility clinic creates embryos using eggs and sperm from intended parents and/or donors, which are then implanted in the surrogate via in vitro fertilization.
Kelley Gardiner is a Portland native, a freelance writer and blogger, and the mother of one sweet toddler. To see what she’s up to, visit kelleygardiner.com.
