Article and Photograph by Laura Jost
When I was three years old, I asked my parents for a guitar for Christmas. From what I understand, the poor thing didn’t last long. At six, I had my very first solo in the holiday pageant. By fourth grade, I was Annie. In junior high, my music teacher had taken notice and I did my first summer musical with a local college. Through high school, I was receiving accolades for performances all over the Pacific Northwest. At seventeen, I started the music program at Portland State University. And what’s absolutely nuts is that I could barely read music. I’d had maybe a half dozen formal music lessons. It was arduous to catch up to my peers (and they were responsible for much of my learning).
All this is to say that if my parents had known then that my request for a guitar was more than a fickle desire for a new toy, my musical journey may have looked very different. It’s often difficult to perceive through the lens of parenthood what is real talent and what is just a kid growing up and having fun. Top if off with the realities of adult life (moving, finances, schedules, marriage, illness, etc.) and the idea of lessons or classes for a young child that isn’t begging for them might seem tedious or even frivolous. The truth is there
is a very fine line between talent and fun; personal desire plays such a huge part in how far you take any gift. And not every gift has an obvious beginning.
What I absolutely know is that had I received more of a musical education, it would have positively affected my skill and confidence and would have allowed me to experience more of the joy that moved me toward music in the first place (and less of the anxiety that came with comparing myself to the technical skill of other musicians). However, I don’t know that I ever expressly asked for music lessons. So as a parent, when do you push that envelope? This has been a very difficult question for me with regard to music, sports, and other dedicated activities for my kids. If your child shows a propensity and they are not opposed to lessons, I’d suggest getting them started. If you’re not sure how interested they are, ask them outright. They might need a little space to consider it, but time will tell.
I had wrongly assumed that my kids would say one day, “Hey, Mom; I’d like to take piano lessons now.” If that has happened in your home, awesome! Any mention of lessons to my kids have been met with faces typically reserved for eating lemon wedges. As much as I feel like signing them up anyway, I know how important it is that they are personally invested. Then I read another article validating that participation in music can positively affect academics, emotional expression, and general confidence, and I get a little antsy. But I will be patient, pay close attention, continue to plant the idea of lessons, and nurture the love for song that is already present until my husband or I sense they are ready. And here’s how we’ll bide our time:
• Keep instruments at home. I can’t tell you how many maracas to mini keyboards I see thrifting, so this doesn’t have to be expensive. Make your own with recycled containers, dry beans, and rubber bands. Put in a special request to the family for birthdays and gifting holidays.
• Play music. Play all kinds of music. Play all eras of music. Play it everywhere: in the car, on the record player, while washing dishes.
• Take them to musical performances. Whether this is a local children’s production, a coffee shop sing-a-long,
the symphony, or stopping to listen to the buskers downtown, let them hear live music. Subscribe to discount ticket sites and follow local parenting groups online for money-saving and a heads up on events.
• Let them explore freely. Kids singing is really cute. But putting them on the spot or recording every note that comes out of their mouths can create anxiety.
• Accept their personal taste; inspiration is highly individual. Even if it’s terrible music. Create playlists for each child.
• Strike when the iron is hot. Research lesson and class availability so that when they are truly ready, you can jump right in. Check out the roundup on page 16. There are programs out there ready to help in all kinds of ways, including finances.
Your kid might be the next virtuoso…or they could just fall in love with jazz. Any way it turns out, they’ll gain a little extra education, culture, and involvement in their community while finding out.
Laura Jost still writes music at her beloved old piano. She owes so much to the talented and encouraging artists and people that she’s met in life, including friends and peers, dedicated adults and teachers, choir and bandmates, and one very special percussionist who gave her a crash course that saved her musical bacon.
