Before parenthood, I loved every Halloween except one spent hosting a Jr. High costume party fraught with bad decisions and tween drama. When our first-born was just a few months old, I gleefully dressed as a pirate, complete with broken tooth and loads of scars and bruises. As I sat and nursed my puffy goldfish, she twirled my faux dreadlocks and seemed happy as a clam. The next year, nothing deterred her from the candy; not smoke, glowing skulls, or spooky music. I thought that we must just have a super well-adjusted kid that would always be in the spirit. Oh, how naïve I was.
On Halloween night when our babe was shy of three-years-old, one of the first costumes we saw was a man in a hoodie with dark, ghoul eyes out for a jog with his baby. Our Elmo completely lost it. It was a reality check that little kids aren’t always cool with what they see and hear in this season. When you have a child who isn’t ready for the skeletons and fake blood, you can’t help but notice the prevalence (and early arrival) of fright-night goods. Protecting kids from the gore can be a challenge, but it can be done. Here’s a few suggestions:
- Know what bothers your kid. Skipping out on the festivities might be best for your family. If you do give it a try and your kid isn’t having it, there’s no shame in calling it quits.
- Watch where you shop. Halloween goods start hitting shelves before the back-to-school supplies are gone. If you need to shop with your little, know the location of the Halloween gear and avoid it. Big home hardware or decorating stores are THE WORST when it comes to how up front and center (and gigantic) their offerings are.
- Be brave and have a plan for when things go awry. Even if you hate animatronic spiders, don’t let them see you sweat…or scream…or run.
- Have a plan for when things go awry. I’ll never forget rounding an innocuous corner to a motion-activated witch who scared the candy apples out of my kiddos. I did the first thing I could think of to diffuse the situation, which luckily worked. Rubbing my bum on her had the kids laughing so hard, they forgot they we’re scared.
- Do your homework. Read a few books (we liked The Brave Little Witch) or watch a show (Sesame Street!) to gently prepare.
- Band together. Find like-minded friends who won’t have kids in scary costumes. Walking up to a strange door is more tolerable when accompanied by a gaggle of cartoon characters. If you are worried about your child attaching anxiety to your own neighborhood, try a friend’s.
- Be an early bird. Believe it or not, plenty of people have their house lights on and candy bowls ready before dark.
- Pick and choose. If a walkway is too long or a house too dark, keep on going. Avoid blocks where you’ve seen elaborate décor. We all know there will be enough candy in that bag (and in your bowl at home) at the end of the night. If you go to an organized function, know exactly what will happen there. One scary corn maze and all could be lost.
- Have a house party. The best way to control what happens Halloween night is to celebrate at home. You can close out October bobbing for apples, drinking cider, carving pumpkins, playing board games, or making art.
- Re-evaluate. You never know when or if your child will warm up to the idea. I can’t tell you how shocked I was to have a kid who spent years scared of simple spider rings who now wants to dress as every dead thing in a skirt she can think up.
Laura Jost loves Halloween but hates scary movies. Her favorite costumes of all time were the years she went as a clown and Jessica Rabbit. One of those years was also the most uncomfortable she’s ever been. Have a safe and happy Halloween!
